Failing
by Witch
Summary: After Andy's death Prue begins to doubt her abilities as a witch and she bottles up her grief. Soon all these locked away feelings are too much for her a warlock sees this as his opportunity to turn a charmed one evil and break up the power of three. Can
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed

Failing

Summary: After Andy's death Prue starts to become over thrown with guilt and begins to doubt her abilities as a witch since she couldn't save him. All this bottled up doubt and guilt starts Prue turning towards the dark side – with the help of a sorcerer – can her sisters save her?

My Immortal

Lilies surrounded Prue as she slowly walked around the small, contained room. She took shallow breaths in and out as she walked, her eyes transfixed on where she was going. She wished that she had taken up Piper's offer to walk with her, she didn't realise how difficult it would be. The walk seemed longer than she had anticipated, the sounds around her were much quieter than she had first thought – leaving her listening to the sound of her heart beating inside her chest – as she walked her breathing got quicker. She looked up ahead, and took a deep breath in but then she couldn't release it, the breath remained captured by her throat. She walked a few more steps and soon discovered that no one else was in front of her, it was just her and a queue behind her – all waiting to say goodbye. She took a few more steps and stood towering over the casket. The white casket, surrounded by white lilies, the casket that held Andy's body. Prue placed the flowers she had brought with her on the casket and waited for herself to begin crying. She could feel the tears building up but couldn't make them fall; she knelt down until her face was at the level of Andy's. Sensing that the queue behind her was growing steadily bigger she whispered "Andy, hi" pausing for a second she didn't know what else to say,

"I guess I've to say goodbye," It sounded really stupid but she couldn't think of anything else to say, "So, I guess this is it," she wanted to sit there all day, she wanted to argue with him until he sat up and yelled back at her, but knowing this would never happen she gave in to defeat and stood up. She wanting to stand for a few moments longer, she wanted to stay just a few more seconds, but she couldn't. She stepped aside and let someone else walked towards him, Prue felt as though she hadn't properly paid her respects. Her first love, and she couldn't even think of what to say to him, she had helped him to die yet she couldn't say sorry, she couldn't say that she missed him. She couldn't even say that she loved him. Prue walked slowly away from the coffin, slower than she had approached it. Piper met her at the end of the isle and Phoebe; cloaked in black they walked at her side as all three left Andy's childhood home.

Back at the manor Prue headed straight upstairs, she didn't even acknowledge her sister's presence. She walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, she looked at the woman who faced her – she couldn't even recognise her. She began running the shower and then walked back towards the mirror, _cry, Prue just cry already, I'll feel better if I just cry... why can't I cry. Andy's dead. And I can't cry, why can't I cry. Why couldn't I save him? I tried... but maybe I didn't, I warned him but he went anyway. God, now I'm blaming him, It wasn't his fault it was mine. How can I possibly blame him for his death, he died at my house, trying to protect me, and I couldn't save him. I couldn't rescue him from the thing that I led him into. I caused his death... because I couldn't prevent it... my powers couldn't save his life._

Prue stepped into the shower, she still wasn't crying, she let the warm water run down her face and she felt the water slowly heating up and starting to sting her skin, but she didn't care. She liked the stinging; she secretly hoped that it would cause her to cry. But after half an hour under the hot stream she gave in and stepped out. Wrapping a towel around her she wandered from the bathroom into her bedroom, she slammed the door behind her and crawled under the covers after changing quickly into pyjamas. After a few moments lying in her bed she looked over to her curtains, the sun still shone in the window as if the day was nothing special, she lifted her arm up in attempt to move the curtains with her powers. But nothing happened, the stayed in the same place, didn't even flinch. She tried again and this time squinted her eyes at the same time. Again nothing,

"Oh for fuck sakes!" she swore and she violently threw her arm across the room, the curtains pulled themselves shut as violently as she had thrown her arm. Prue sat and stared at the curtains momentarily, _what? What's going on with my powers? _

A/N: Ok, so this again was rather short. But thank god I'm starting to get rid of some of my writer's block. It's about damn time. So please R&R and I hope you like my new fic.


	2. Contact

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed

A/N: Ok, so this chapter was meant to be up a few days ago but since my laptop was an ass and saved it wrongly I can't access it so this is a re-write of what I had already written. DAMN! Anyway, I hope you like it.

Failing – Contact

Prue lay awake in her bed, she had been tossing and turning for what seemed like an hour. Finally she gave into the fact that she wasn't going to fall asleep and rolled over to see what time it actually was. Her alarm clock read 5.45am, that was way earlier than Prue – a morning person – got up normally. These days she wouldn't have minded lying in bed all day, it didn't seem important that she got out of bed and faced the world. Nothing could bring Andy back and fill the hole that had formed inside her since he died, so why should she get out of her bed. Being Prue she knew very well that she couldn't just lie about all day, although the prospect of it seemed more tantalising that usual. Slowly Prue swung her legs out of bed and felt her feet hit the floor, they felt heavy and tired and seemed to drag as she walked towards her desk. On her desk was her newly started journal, she hadn't kept record of things since high school and her books from back then were filled with notes about Andy, this journal had been started in dedication to him. It seemed that since he had died things seemed more important that she should write everything down. She picked up the biro that sat on the journal and began to write,

Dear Diary,

God, I feel so stupid writing that, "dear diary" I mean I'm not in school anymore. There is more important things that writing in a diary or journal or whatever a supposed grown up is meant to call it. But I can't think of any other way to start these entries. I still haven't cried for Andy, I have tried but nothing seems to make me cry. I think I'm becoming hollow, how else can you explain all this. I have lost my lover and I can't see him or speak to him ever again but I still can't cry. I mean when Mom died I didn't cry much in public but when I was by myself I couldn't hold the tears in... this time I can't make them come out. I think about all the times we spent together, when we used to sneak up to my room during high school – the thrill of getting caught with Grams made things even more exciting, and the Prom, our first kiss, when we first slept together... everything that should make me cry and feel sorry that I'll never see him again. I feel nothing. I mean, that's not true, I feel the pain but I can't express it. I swear if you held my chest to your ear you'd probably hear nothing, you couldn't hear my heart beating. The only sign that it still is is the fact that I'm still walking around.

I heard somewhere that writing is supposed to be therapeutic – I think that's a load of bullshit. I think it was that therapist that Grams sent me to see after Mom died. But I think he was crazier than I was. I mean I'm writing all this stuff about Andy and how I feel but yet I'm not crying. I just want to cry. To let it all fucking out of my system, I mean I never really got to say goodbye. I told him I loved him but is that ever even enough. What if he didn't really know? Did he?

"Wait!" exclaimed Prue dropping the pen and getting up. She ran from her room being as quiet as she could and into the attic, quietly closing the attic door she walked over to the book of shadows. She flicked excitedly through the pages and then suddenly stopped, her eyes scanned the page that was in front of her and then she spoke,

"Hear these words, hear the rhyme,

Pass across space and time,

Come to me I call you near,

Come to me and settle here," with that Prue looked out across the attic. She awaited some magical sign that her spell had worked but nothing. Then suddenly the door flew open, Prue's eyes darted towards it but she wasn't greeted with what she wanted. Merely by her sisters standing in the door frame,

"Prue, what are you doing?" asked Piper as she entered the attic slowly, followed closely by Phoebe.

"Nothing," Prue lied, as she attempted to quickly shut the book of shadows but she was stopped by Phoebe who now stood next to her. Phoebe opened the page and turned it to face her,

"To contact the dead?" asked Phoebe, "Prue," she began

"What? What Phoebe? I wasn't doing anything,"

"You were Prue, you were trying to contact Andy."

"So," said Prue walking away from Phoebe and Piper,

"Prue, that's personal gain, you can't do it,"

"I don't care!" yelled Prue. And as she did lamps and lights across the attic sparked and blew their fuse. The lights went out and only sparks lit the room. Phoebe and Piper let out a yell as this happened and then turned to face Prue, who's eyes glowed black.


End file.
